Few things create more anxiety for a parent than receiving notice that a dispute concerning their child has been referred to mediation. Many parents arrive at their first mediation session with the same questions:
“Will I have to speak in front of a magistrate?”
“Is the mediator going to decide who is right?”
“What if we cannot agree?”
“Will I be forced to sign something?”
The uncertainty can be overwhelming, especially when emotions are already running high.
The good news is that Children’s Court mediation is designed to help families explore practical, child-focused solutions in a structured and supportive setting.
Understanding the process beforehand can make the experience less intimidating and help you feel better prepared. This guide explains what typically happens during a Children’s Court mediation, from the initial referral through to a signed agreement.
What Is Mediation in the Children’s Court?
Children’s Court mediation is a structured process in which an independent and impartial mediator helps parents, caregivers or other interested parties discuss issues affecting a child and explore possible solutions together.
The mediator does not act as a judge or magistrate, deciding the outcome or taking sides. Instead, the mediator manages the process, supports constructive communication and helps the parties focus on practical arrangements that promote the best interests of the child.
How Does a Matter Get Referred to Mediation?
A matter in the Children’s Court may reach mediation in a number of different ways. A referral may come from a magistrate, social worker, the Family Advocate, an attorney, a legal aid practitioner or the parties themselves.
In some matters, parents voluntarily choose mediation before requesting a court to make a decision on the dispute. In others, a court may refer or direct the parties to participate in an appropriate dispute-resolution process before the matter proceeds further.
Step 1: The Intake and Referral Stage
In a court-referred context, the parties will first see the magistrate for their initial court session. At this time, the magistrate might decide to refer the matter for mediation. The matter is then postponed for a mediation session, either with a private mediator of their choice or with a NABFAM-certified, court-approved mediator.
In a private practice scenario, each parent or participant will usually complete an intake process before the mediation can begin.
Before the actual mediation begins, parties are provided with information to help them understand the process and make an informed decision about whether they wish to proceed. The mediator will normally also ask certain procedural questions to understand and clarify the nature of the dispute, identify the issues, assess whether mediation is appropriate and identify any safety concerns or urgent needs.
Typical preliminary questions cover:
- The current care and living arrangements
- The concerns they would like addressed
- Communication difficulties between the adults
- Issues involving contact, schooling, healthcare, or daily routines
Step 2: Preparing for the Mediation Session
Mediation is not a trial, and parents do not need to prepare a legal argument. It is more helpful to think through the needs, the practical challenges and the arrangements that may provide stability and consistency for the child. The following information may be requested by the mediator:
- Existing court orders or parenting plans
- School or medical information relevant to the issues
- A proposed contact or care schedule
- A short list of the main issues and possible solutions
Step 3: Arriving at the First Mediation Session
At the start, the mediator will explain the process, the mediator’s role and the ground rules for respectful participation.
Confidentiality
The mediator will explain how confidentiality applies and any recognised limits. This helps participants understand what may and may not be shared outside the process.
Respectful communication
The mediator creates a structured conversation so that each participant has an opportunity to speak and be heard.
Participation and decision-making
Although a matter may have been referred to mediation, the mediator does not force a settlement. The parties remain responsible for deciding whether they can agree.
A child-centred focus
The discussion is directed towards the child’s needs and future arrangements, rather than becoming trapped in past parental grievances.
Step 4: Discussing the Issues
The mediator helps the parties identify and organise the issues that require discussion.
- Care and residence arrangements
- Contact schedules
- Schooling and medical decisions
- Holidays, special occasions and travel
- Extramural activities
- Communication between parents and with the child
- Religious, cultural or language considerations
- Other practical parenting concerns
Step 5: Exploring Possible Solutions
Once the issues are clear, the focus turns to possible arrangements. The mediator may help the parties consider options, test whether proposals are practical, anticipate future difficulties and identify areas of compromise.
- Is the arrangement realistic for the child’s school week?
- Who will collect and return the child, and when?
- How will urgent decisions be communicated?
- What will happen during school holidays or special occasions?
- How will disagreements about implementation be addressed?
Step 6: Reaching an Agreement
Not every mediation results in full agreement. The parties may resolve all issues, only some issues or none of them. Partial progress may still narrow the dispute and improve future communication. Where agreement is reached, it may take the form of:
- A settlement agreement
- A parenting plan
- A memorandum of understanding or written record of agreed terms
Step 7: Reviewing and Signing the Agreement
Before signing, each participant should read the document carefully and make sure that the wording reflects what was agreed. Because the terms may have legal consequences, independent legal advice may be appropriate before signature.
Step 8: Making the Agreement Legally Enforceable
Depending on the nature of the agreement and the case, further steps may be needed. A parenting plan may, where legally appropriate, be registered with the Family Advocate or submitted to a competent court to be made an order. The correct route depends on the facts and the relief required.
The mediator helps shift the conversation from adult positions to the child’s practical needs. Instead of asking, “Who should win?”, mediation asks, “What arrangement may work safely and consistently for this child?”
What If We Cannot Reach Agreement?
Mediation has not necessarily been wasted if a complete settlement is not reached. The process may still help the parties clarify misunderstandings, identify common ground, narrow the issues in dispute and reduce the conflict surrounding future court proceedings.
Issues that remain unresolved may return to the Children’s Court or another appropriate process for determination.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need a lawyer at mediation?
Not necessarily. Some mediations take place without attorneys in the room. However, a parent may benefit from obtaining independent legal advice, particularly before signing an agreement.
Will the mediator tell us what to do?
No. The mediator facilitates the process and may help the parties test options, but does not impose the final decisions.
Can my child attend the mediation?
This depends on the child’s age, maturity, circumstances and the process being followed. The child will only in specific circumstances be allowed to sit in where adults discuss issues, and a child-participation interview with a specially trained professional handles this attendance carefully, without placing the child in the position of choosing between parents.
What happens if the other parent refuses to cooperate?
The mediator will try to support a constructive process. If meaningful participation is not possible, the mediation may end and the matter may return to court or another appropriate process.
Is mediation confidential?
Confidentiality is an important part of mediation, but it is not unlimited. The mediator should explain the applicable confidentiality terms and any exceptions at the start of the process.
Final Thoughts
Attending a Children’s Court mediation can feel daunting, particularly when decisions about your child are involved. For many families, however, mediation creates a structured opportunity to be heard, understand the concerns of the other participants and explore practical arrangements suited to the child’s needs.
The process is not about creating a winner and a loser. It is about helping families look for a workable way forward while keeping the child’s best interests at the centre.
At ACR Community NPC, our court-based mediation initiatives support families through a professional, respectful and child-centred process. If your matter has been referred to mediation, our team can help you understand the next practical steps and what to expect from the process.